Did You Watch "Eyes?"

Probably not.

Nope, this slick drama with Tim Daly in charge of his own "risk management" investigation firm with a team filled with secrets and hidden agendas. Each member is unfortunately the usual gang of minorites and stereotypes, like the classic two-in-one minorites: the black women, and the black gay man. Then, there's the "attractive" blond woman, the nerdy guy, and so on. But Daly's the one who shines as the glib and sarcastic Harlan Judd, who confesses that this character is more like himself than his usual "by-the-book" do-gooders.

The pilot introduces each character, and a number of their vices, and their relations with others (i.e. conflicts), and this takes precedence over the actual cases which seem to be treated in a very light tone. I enjoyed watching Daly use every trick in the book to get his man.

Daly compared his new show as "The Rockford Files of the Twenty First Century," which is an just comparison. Starting off, Judd is faced with a lawsuit, going bankrupt, his former boss (who's morally impaired) wants to buy Judd's firm, and there's a mole within his firm. This avalanche of bad luck does sound like something that James Garner's legendary alter ego would have to handle every week.

The ratings for the pilot are average, if not bad, so start tuning in...

Comics This Week

Daredevil #71: After writing a great story, Bendis once again retreats into the past as a group of people recall the time when Daredevil ruled as "Kingpin." I wished that Bendis would keep going foward, especially since this whole support group thing seemed forced at best. Maleev's art doesn't seem as detailed as other issues, but a great use of colors during the fight scene. B

Guardian #1 (of 4): For his Seven Soldiers series, Grant Morrison reinvents the Guardian as ex-cop Jake Jordan who gets a second chance as the superhero mascot for the newspaper "where the readers are the reporters." His first story? Subway pirates! Great flow and pacing, not to mention Cameron Stewart's art fits it like a glove. What else can you ask for in a story? A

Metal Gear Solid #7: For those of us who who don't play this game or lack the ability to beat it, this series is perfect replacement. Each issue features fresh art from Ashley Wood, though his abstract art can sometimes make the action hard to follow. This issue also has the first appearance of Sniper Wolf. The only reason it doesn't get an A is because of its price tag. B+

Rogue #9: Besides the cool cover, which is an homage to one of my favorite X-Men issues, this issue is a mixed bag. Rogue's still in Japan with Sunfire, tracking down The Silver Samurai and Lady Deathstrike, but this issue doesn't really contribute anything new or really interesting, and Donovan's art is very inconsistant. C

Star Wars Obsession #4 (of 5): Obi-Wan, Anakin, and whole bunch of other Jedi invade Boz Pity in the continued search for Dark Jedi Ventress. Art and story are nice, but nothing really amazing. Don't be fooled by the cover. General Grievous is only in the last two pages... C

X-Men #168: Part three of Peter Milligan's first story as the new X-Men writer is pretty entertaining, considering its unoriginal plot. The X-Men went to an isolated camp to find something had driven all the mutants crazy, and now it's affecting all mutants in L.A. Once the X-Men have stopped the riots, it seems that this "Golgotha" is now starting to affect the X-Men. Larroca's very clean and pretty art actually works better than I thought for such a dark story. But still, from the guy who wrote Batman stories with golems and "Hungry Grass" he can do better. B-

"EYES" is Coming!

Next week is the debut of Tim Daly's promising new series, "EYES." Hopefully following the very popular series "Alias" will help give it a ratings boost. Check out ABC's official site for a summary of the pilot, pictures of the cast, and other stuff. Having seen two commericals for the show, I feel very optimistic for the show and will be very sad when it does get cancelled.

People are Stupid...

Disney's "The Pacifier" has grossed over 70 million dollars. I want names, people. Who wasted eight dollars on this "Kindergarten Cop" wannabe? Probably the people who own "Kangaroo Jack" on DVD....

The SciFi Channel is run by idiots. They're showing "Liar Liar" tonight. Is that a science fiction movie? (The correct answer is no.)

Something Weird...

I was watching Adult Swim's strange yet unamusing new show, Robot Chicken, which contains stop-motion dolls performing skits.

In the skit I saw, a frightfully realistic Harrison Ford doll was teaming up with Aerosmith to save the world from an astroid. The weird thing is that Harrison's voice was provided by Star Wars alumni, Mark Hamill, who would also play himself in the skit.

This has been "Something Weird..." Thank you. Good night.

Novel Review: Prisoner of Azkaban

I was introduced to the world of Harry Potter through Chris Columbus's film adaptations, which are pretty much the same as the novels but this book was different.

Both the movie and the book share the basic plot: Harry returns for his third year, and Sirius Black is free from Azkaban, the prison for bad wizards, and seems to have it in for Potter. But the book has a lot more details than the movie, or rather the movie left out a lot of the details. One of the major scenes, where Harry confronts Black, is much better written in the book, and the exposition is handled a lot better.

By the third book, J.K. Rowling has definitely developed her writing voice, and keeps expanding the Potter universe and its characters. I especially enjoyed learning more about Harry's parents, and seeing that Hermione got more fleshed out than the nerdy kid who's an overachiever.

This book was highly addictive, even though I've already seen the movie, and any book that gets kids to happily read a 500 plus page book is okay with me. With only a couple stretches in the plot to complain about (Like (blank) is really (blank) who we all thought was dead), this is the best of the first three books. A-

Mel's Second Coming

According to Internet Movie Database, Mel Gibson will be re-releasing his hyped- er- controversal movie, the Passion of Jesus Christ in time for Easter. But this is not the same movie that you can now rent or buy on DVD. Gibson is releasing an "unedited" version of the movie, with six additional minutes which will probably be more of Romans torturing Jesus. While I'm already weary of commercial endeavors concerning Jesus Christ and other religious figures, it deeply saddens me that Mel Gibson has just pulled a George Lucas.

And what's stopping Mel from doing this next year with another edition? Why don't we all just re-release every movie that's made a profit, in hopes of making more money?

That is, after all, the American way.

SciFi Channel Screws Up

The SciFi Channel has passed up the new Doctor Who series that will be premiering on BBC in a few weeks. Reports say that the the executives found the show "lacking." Probably lacking in women and sex which the SciFi Channel uses shamelessly to get nerds to turn in every week. Also, the Doctor Who series has way too much science fiction for it to be shown on the SciFi Channel. (Plus the fact that there would be little chance for a Doctor Who Atlantis.)

People are still pretty optimistic that someone in the U.S. will eventually pick up the new series for broadcast in the States, but sadly they will be disappointed in the end.

Alas, Poor Jack

Let's all feel bad for British actor Jack Davenport, who's getting bad parts in American films.

True, he was in Pirates of the Caribbean, but he played the uptight, by the books British captain who you know Keira Knightly is going to dump for Legolas.. er, Orlando Bloom. Not only was his best scene trimmed to a deleted scene, but he's not even getting an action figure out of it.

Now, he's going to be in Wedding Date, a shameless movie about a girl who hires a man to pose as her boyfriend and they fall in love... Yes, yes we've all seen this plot dozens of times. Jack plays a character called Edward Fletcher-Wooten, that just proves to you that Hollywood writers have never actually met a Brit. If God is mercifully, it is a short part where Jack can slink out of the movie with some dignity.

I just hope that Coupling lasts a long, long time so that he doesn't have to rely on Hollywood to support his career.

Movie Review: Phantom of the Opera 2004

I did not want to see this film. For the record, I was forced to see this film, like most men who have seen this film.

The movie's about very pretty young people with great hair bursting into song. For two hours and twenty minutes. Yes, this movie is over two hours long. Way more than any musical to film adaptation should be. Director Joel Schumacher, the man who created the Bat-Tit, must not understand that people, like me, do not want to sit through a musical that's two hours and twenty minutes long.

But does PotO really need a film adaptation? Based on the musical that's based on a movie that's based on a book, the movie probably does not resemble the original novel by Gaston Leroux. The supposedly sinister Phantom is more handsome than scarred, what with his loose white shirts. Heck, Phantom's gellin', for God's sake.

But let's face it, this is nothing but Andrew Lloyd Webber cashing in on one of his most popular musicals, so he can buy a new summer home. The movie offers nothing exceptionally new, except for one new song that's only used in the end credits. So if you're a fan of the musical, this movie is sure to be your cup of tea without the risk of being offended by someone's originality.

As for me, this is a typical musical: a pretty story told with pretty songs that seems to suck all of the gruesome reality out of the story. It takes great effort to take a story of a deformed stalker and turn it into a fanciful piece of fluff that this movie is. D+

Something Cool

Corgi, who is famous, at least to me, for making the die cast replicas of James Bond cars with working gadgets, is making a line of die cast Batmobiles, based on various models in the comics over the years. Included in the first series is my favorite Batmobile: the futuristic 1990s Batmobile. it was used for about five years, until it got blown up at the end of the whole Knightsend thing. My only gripe with series one is that it features two models from the 2000s, both from the Jim Lee "Hush" series. Neither car is very exciting to look at, and I wish that they had done more obscure cars, like the 1990s version.

A series two is already being made to come out this summer. Included are the Redbird, Tim Drake's vehicle of choice, and 1990s Batmobile Version 2 which is more faithful to Norm Breyfogle's original design.

"EYES" Premieres March 30th

I've just learned recently that Tim Daly's new series, "Eyes," will premiere on ABC at the end of March. I've been waiting since September for news on his show's debut. TV Guide says it's "cool, stylish, and smart." So kiss it goodbye when it gets canned 3 weeks later.