Today the Federal Bureau of Investigation has demanded that every citizen in the United States bring all of their CDs, DVDs, and other media products to the nearest FBI building to have each of them stamped with the new FBI anti-piracy seal.
Recently, CDs and DVDs now bear the FBI's seal against piracy to ward teens who read labels away from the evils of Napster. But this wasn't enough for the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
"We were very proud with the design and quick to put it on all new DVDs and CDs, even including film scores that no one buys," remarked the Director at the press conference held this morning.
"But we ran into a problem. We were informed by the NSA that there's literally hundreds of CDs alone that have been previously released without our seal." So, the FBI requires that all US citizens bring in all of their CDs and DVDs that bear no FBI seal to be stamped at once.
"This is to ensure that these digital pirates get the message that corpor- er, our government does not tolerate this kind of free spirited capitalism," stated the Director. "If placing a large seal that serves no practical purpose other than to ruin the overall design scheme of CD or DVD will detract criminal activities, then so be it."
The FBI Director had one more statement to address America's youth, "Remember kids. Downloading music to avoid paying over-inflated prices is wrong. To continue to do so, will certainly lead to an impending victory for Terrorism."
2 comments:
I thought that I should add, just in case you are unfamilar with satire, that none of this is actually true.
Yet.
I was wondering if this wasn't true when I read about the film scores no one buys- who would care about that!? YOu should add your disclaimer in the text of your fiction. I do like the satire. I've wondered what those labels are to do except warn me not to burn illeal copies to give to others. I mean, it doesn't prevent anyone, but I guess they can't claim that they didn't know. Unless they get their Cds from a friend who burned it and never copied the warning. "Hey, Mr. FBI man, you can't arrest me. I didn't know that this illegally burned CD was illegal. I mean, it doesn't have a FBI warning label." Yeah, the future could be scary.
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